AH HA!

For the first time in a long time, I come before you with nothing preconceived to write about. Usually I try to empty my brain and whatever is left is what forms words. But there's nothing now except this extraordinary peace that I still can't quite put my finger on. I would be lying to say that I don't have cold feet about everything that God is changing in my life, but I'm too excited to let that steal my joy.

I went out for coffee with a friend tonight, and every time we get together, I can't describe the thoughts that surface and the emotions that rage beneath the surface. Not in some romantic, lustful way - gosh no. Hehe, as if. I just...he makes me wonder about a lot of things, in a good way. I don't really know where I'm going with this, but the point is that I wish he could see the truth as clearly as I can.

Today I made the big bucks. Tips: $2 for 4.5 hours of work. Don't worry though, I won't spend it all in one place.

I love Casting Crowns. Every time I think I'm over them, I realize the significance of their words all over again. They're all I've listened to lately, and it makes me feel glorious.

I hate taking the easy way out of things. If two paths are before me, I almost always opt for the harder one. That isn't to say that I don't know when to quit (I have a disgustingly resilient survival complex), but I don't want to look back and know that I always just did what came easiest. I want to do amazing things with my life! And now that I look back on my human planning skills, I know those plans weren't big enough. God has so much more for me!!

I ate a crepe today, and I'm already over them. Now I need to spend the entire summer saturating myself in the smell without any desire to indulge. Perfect. Now I'll be fighting back a gagging fit as well as trying desperately to control my temper so I don't scream at every customer who doesn't tip me. I just want to afford to put gas in my car, is that too much to ask?!

So, in case you didn't notice, these are all the nothings floating around in my head right now. Not to say that they're literally worth nothing, just that without their sum total they are meaningless.

I can't wait to finally watch the pieces start to move together. I've waited so long. And here's the truth. All these things are just the surface. The true heart that's beating underneath is crying out to speak...but I can't. Not yet. This is too much to hold in :)