My lack of easily accessible netty hasn't been the only reason for such a long bout of internet silence. I've been sorting through a lot of things, fighting a lot of battles I never even conceived I would have to face, and continuing to heal my wounded heart.
God has been so good in allowing such amazing people to come alongside me and lend their support. This year is going to be a rough one. It will be amazing and like nothing I have ever seen before, both in fantastic ways and scary ones.
If I haven't been responding to your messages on Facebook or answering texts or hanging out with you as much, just assume it's not you. I've been setting new boundaries in my life that are taking a lot of different shapes, but which will hopefully help me a whole bunch in the long run. Right now it's painful and I'm struggling to be this person I know I need to be (and should have been a long time ago), but it's going to take work. Please bear with me. Please don't be offended. Please support me, because some moments I lose the ability to support myself.
Yet even through this stretching process, God has been revealing wondrous things to me. Teaching me to hear His voice again has been bittersweet in the extreme, and sometimes I still have my doubts. But thank You God for being so patient with me and continually being willing to prove Yourself to me. I am in constant awe.
I'm trying to keep the big picture in mind (which, despite appearances, is actually one of my biggest pitfalls when I let it be) while still taking one day at a time. Today is Day 2 of 231. Only 229 left to go.
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