I'll Drive All the Way to California

Millions of thoughts running through my head. Here's a brief summation:

• I want a new car. Desperately. I need to drive and drive and drive. When I leave driving too long, it drives me up the wall and I forget that I know how and I become paranoid and begin to doubt my skills. Which I obviously have. I don't just want to drive anywhere, I want to go somewhere hot and somewhat exotic and far away. It's becoming a need. I need a new car so I can do these things.
• I miss California. I did not want to go for reading break, but now I miss it. I drove down twice in '06, and once in '09 and '10 respectively. I miss it. I miss the smell and the ocean and the stretch of the I5 between kill-me-now-nowhere, California, and Los Angeles. I miss the winding highway between kill-me-now-hotness, Nevada, and TGI-In-n-Out-Burger in Redding. I miss shorts and a bikini at 90 mph.
• I am burning to do something significant with my life. For God. Now. Yet here I sit in school, unable to emerge until I have my degree, and I feel trapped. I want the knowledge, I love to learn; more than that, I want to make a dent. I have done too little for too long. I feel useless.
• Seven. Final offer.
• I would like to start doing one thrilling thing a week. If I do, life will have landmarks and I may just smile more. I love smiling, and I love being thrilled out of my mind. This is a must.
• I despise intensives and everything they stand for and pretend to accomplish. Especially week-long-ers. Especially weekend-ers. Especially ones with books and work and teachers and people.
• I love Hebrew. Love, love, love. Fluency will eventually become me nicely.
• I am torn about a huge issue in my life. If I continue in the way I am headed, potential disaster. If I quit now, will I ever let go and just do what I want? The big question: do I keep the 4" orange heels or return them and get something wonderful but not as exciting? I only have days left to decide. What do I do?!!?!
• My hair is getting longer. I miss my short hair suddenly (thus my completely unflattering but totally nostalgic fb profile picture), but if I cut it now I will hurt myself. Ugh. I just want it uber long or right back to short. NO! It will be long. The end.
• Waffles with strawberries would make my life right now.

Basically, I think too much. That is all

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If This Ain't Love, then How do We Get Out?

This has been a contemplative break: lots to think about and decisions that are somehow necessary but not imminent. If you know me at all, however, you know that I unnecessarily make the give-it-time's imminent. For joy? For something that wouldn't be pretty coming out of my mouth.

I am about to go watch Notting Hill for the second time in a month, and I am thrilled to no end. Why? Well...wouldn't it be nice? Take a stroll, have a man dump orange juice all over my shirt, offer me his house and his shirt and his shower and his life, and never look back.

So far, 2011 is better. I will be real, though. It will probably not remain here in the realm of "okay," as I typically flit from high to djfhcjvxbnbr in .0463 seconds with no warning except for accelerated heart rate (and as I do not continuously hold my index and middle finger to my throat, it is not always immediately apparent). 2011 sits better with me, too. I have a weird thing with numbers. I never liked 2010. Ugh. Even to see it written there is bizarre. What a strange combination of numerals. 2011. Ah. Much better.

I just want to save you while there's still something left to save. Woah, oh oh oh. Oh oh oh, oh.