And now to spend my time (slightly more) wisely.I am in the process of applying for jobs. The kind that are actually what I want to do with my life. It's terrifying. Part of me wants to marry someone ridiculously rich so he can buy me an island and I can lay in a hammock writing books for the rest of my life, or to live on a farm in Kansas and take pride in growing things and spend my life raising God-loving children and going to county fairs and die in a rocking chair on my wrap-around porch watching the sun go down, or be a secret cliff jumper who is never world-renowned but only ever does that and dies in a freak life preserver accident. But the bigger, better, eternity-focused part of me wants to put my heart and soul into doing exactly what God calls me to in the moment, going where He sends and leaving what He says I will be fine without, and dying in the most God-glorifying way possible. I think that part will win in the end. Now to spend every day for the rest of my life convincing myself all over again that the other part of me is dead and this part will be the part that leaves this world with no regrets.
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