I will never look as good as I did at seventeen...or so they say. I will also never be as carefree, as happy, as popular, or as lovely. Every day I get further and further past my prime. Or so they say.
If high school was really the best it will ever get, then I am in for some seriously crappy stuff. When I think of the insecurities and the masks that defined me then, it scares me to think of how unhappy I really was. Life looked perfect because I orchestrated it just so; on the inside I was dying. That cannot be the best there ever was or ever will be.
Today marks half way. Who thought. I did not.
Until this point, the greatest half way of my life was the first 40 day fast I ever did. Half way meant glorious peace and a humongous sense of accomplishment. This half way mark is slightly more than 40 days, however. 231. Today is 116. I did not think I would make it this far.
Tomorrow begins the downhill stroll to the finish line. I may "stroll" in the fetal position in a rolling manner, but stroll I will.
I will never be as relieved as I am today. Or so they say.
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