Woah! This Sex Is on Fire

I am more than 22.5 years old. Whew. Know what that makes me? Old.

Yes, old. Practically ancient. This is not another rant on how much I should have accomplished by 22. At least, not wholly. Sort of. This is an account of what my life should look like and does not. No fear, though! I promise to end on a positive note.

According to me at __, I should be:

7 - old and making money as a successful swimming lesson instructor.

9 - married to Matt Harvey and an elementary school teacher.

12 - graduated with a BA in something important that will get me somewhere big.

14 - anywhere but here.

15 - someone thrilling and crazy, doing body shots off of underwear models in Tahiti before returning to Canada to be famous.

16 - married with a kid and rich.

17 - famous and not alone.

18 - married to a pastor, famous of course, and planting churches.

19 - just not alone.

20 - graduated and a youth pastor.

21 - better...healthy...back to normal.

22 - anywhere but here.

A lot happened between 14 and 22, but apparently not much has changed.

But. Not to be all negative all over everything good in my life, there are actually good things going on. (In case you haven't noticed, I love lists lately.)

1. I'm alone! Woot!
2. I am taking myself on a cruise sometime in the next year. Sweet bliss. Not to Tahiti or with famous people, but just to be anywhere but here...and be well-fed doing it.
3. I survived this semester and next will be 1000x easier.
4. It is almost Christmas.
5. I am not alone.

And that's about it for now.

Oh. And Ewan McGregor is sexy.

The end.