You'll Kill Yourself to Find Anything at All

This has been quite the week. Making a list just sounds pitiful, so instead I will go to a hiding place.

I love those moments of being silent in the midst of nothing. It is different from the silence of an empty room or everyone around me falling silent; there is something infinitely altered from that state, simplified even, to be away from everything else and to just be with Him. Standing on the side of a mountain in the darkness, staring out across miles of city lights until they meet water and mountains and sky; sitting on the beach, day cloudy and ocean stormy, seeing nothing but countless numbers of palette-blended gray; walking to breakfast through the mist, sun rising over the bog, being immersed in crisp, sparkling softness; a dim, hot beach in Mexico where He is the only One for thousands of miles. God is in the empty room and in the midst of words left unsaid, but it is in the times of nothing when it is just Him and I that I feel we are most connected.

This week has been beyond difficult, and Easier is not yet on the horizon. But He is. And He is watching from miles away and from the seat next to me and from the depths inside my heart. Wonderful, glorious realization.