I am failing. I don't know when it started or what I did or if I could have even prevented it had I seen it coming. Total exhaustion is imminent. Yesterday I broke and it was not pretty. The last two days feel like months. We were talking earlier about how we're less than two weeks away from celebrating our passing of the half-way mark; now I wonder if I won't be back in B.C. by then. I don't know why I came and I don't know why I'm still here. I need prayer so bad it's ridiculous. Please pray for wisdom and strength and integrity and boundless energy. I am afraid that this might be the time that breaks up me and my affair with ministry for good.If it were up to me, I'd be done.But this is my prayer in the battle, when triumph is still on its way: I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ so firm on His promise I'll stand, and I will bring praise.
3 comments:
I know it may be a straightforward way of saying this...but nip it in the ass :-)
If you make it through this, then anything else will be downhill. You can be able to see failure coming from any aspect and change things since you've been to the bottom and back. There's no reason to think that just cause it's terrible it's a failure. We need horrible experiences to learn what causes them and how we can avoid them in the future. Sometimes screaming at some person who dont understand you is a good thing to learn
oops... sorry this is about ministry uh... it's a "test" but if you "persevere" you may learn your "calling" and also uh.... crap... I need to hit the quota for buzz words...hmm "hedge of protection, triumph, battle, and last but not least servicceeeeee"
yeah, Christian buzz word message, take that televangelists
I'm singing that song for you. You went to get away and to change. I can see from your other blogs that you are really getting into a better place with God and you've been able to depend on Him for so many things. You're a frickin' awesome soldier for God. Don't let this battle beat you.
you have some amazing friends!! xo
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