If You Just Realize What I Just Realized

Today has been a day of introspective thought. Many things in, several things out, and most of it just circling around and around inside.

I'm getting back into a good place. Finally. But I'm still in want of some things. I still miss others. This is prep time; this is the period before things in which things still happen, but I am left waiting on the other things which may never happen.

I want to be content. I also want so much more than where I'm at right now.

I cannot find the words. The answer I need is still in someone else whose ears no longer accept questions or otherwise. And my future is all wrapped up in unknown. C.S. Lewis told me that the future is the furthest thing from heaven. I need to live now if I ever hope to get to a new now.