Every part of me feels on the edge of a breakdown.
No one knows yet, but our church is done. Decided tonight. This will be our last Sunday.
Nothing has sunk in yet, but on some level I must know. I came home and did two weeks worth of dishes and made Chinese food. I don't want to sleep because I know I won't want to get out of bed for days. I don't know who to be.
I have done ministry with 90% of my waking time and thought and energy and passion for the last three and a half years. Everything I do has always been weighed against how it will affect the church, and when I mess up my first thought is always how it would affect my youth if they found out. I don't have that anymore.
I'm in shock, probably on the road to a breakdown. I think I'll go and get away for awhile...next Sunday I'll leave and I won't come back until I have to. I don't know where/who/why to be.
1 comment:
Oh babe I'm sorry that your church has decided to stop or be done or however you want to say it. Just keep moving. Keep ministering however you can. The end of that church is not the end of your ministry.
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