I Listen to Music again, among Other Things

I am listening to music again. If you know me, you know this means something huge. Music, for me, is like food. I don't mean this in some higher-level-thinking allegorical way; music and food affect me the same way. Example: when I'm upset, I eat until I cannot eat anymore...and then I eat some more. However, when I'm really upset I just cannot make myself eat. Music is the same.

I've been sad for awhile. When I'm sad, music is a comfort. When I'm sad the way I've been (sad -adj. - understatement of the year), music only makes everything worse. I cannot turn it on; I cannot let the lyrics in without damaging my soul.

So let me start again. I am listening to music again.

I am also reading my Bible again. I have been...agitated with God lately. Not angry, not blaming, not bitter. I just can't look at Him. Things keep getting worse, a new aspect of my life seemingly falls apart each day, and He's not there.

Last night I opened up my Bible, without being compelled by an outside source, for the first time in months. I read a few psalms and, miracle of miracles, I still know most of the Romans I memorized in November. God is so faithful in so many ways I don't give Him credit for.

I'm also eating again (see above). I want to gain ten pounds by the end of the summer.

I also want to start exercising again. I nearly killed my body running the other day, so it's back to the elliptical for now. Stop laughing. I just...I want to be healthy. I want to be whole again.

Whistler is getting better. Oh! And I'm getting homework done.

Miracles. Miracles all around.