Who in the World is He?

I was standing in my dining room, minding my own business painting car wash signs, when my mom walks in and starts talking. Big, scary things are happening and she just needed to talk, but then it came around to this book she's been reading. She began reading me a passage, and in it the author was recounting a question he had been asked: Who is God to you? And not just who we know Him to be from the Bible, but who has He revealed Himself as to me in my own experience? That is a scary question.

So, in the next few minutes, I am going to struggle with this question and figure out what all this means. If I no longer have a Bible, will I still know God?

When i first heard the question, right away the attribute that popped into my head was "funny." God, in my experience, is hilarious. He tells me things that make me giggle like crazy, and sometimes there's even a hint of sarcasm in His voice. He tells me when I'm being stubborn, and it's rarely without humor. God is a funny guy.

He is also incredibly comforting. I can't count the number of times that I have driven home in my car all alone, bawling my eyes out, and He's there with His small, sweet voice telling me exactly what I need to hear. Especially that He loves me. Which is another one of His overwhelming attributes. God is so loving its astonishing. He finds the most wonderful ways to show it, from the snowstorm I begged for to the kindest words that only someone who is head-over-heels in love with me could say with a straight face. He romances me daily and pursues me when I run. It gives me tingles.

He is also judgmental. Just the other night I did something I knew wasn't right, and the second I got in my car, there He was. "So, are you happy with yourself?" No, of course I wasn't. He sits above me, knowing it all, and tells me when I'm wrong. I can try to fight it, but there's no way I can be right when He tells me I'm not. Sometimes He tenderly leads me to see the folly of my ways, but occasionally He yells. The hugeness of His voice fills my brain to the brim and and the truth is inescapable. He is a teacher, both of His Word and of life, and He has the "good cop, bad cop" routine down to a science. If He's not getting through to me with love, He knows how to take me by force. When I'm not in a place that makes me feel as if I can accept His love, He throws it at me until I am bent under the beautiful weight of it and am forced to give in.

He is a friend, the kind anyone would like to have. He listens for hours as I complain and sulk and cry, as I recount my day and plan for the future. He gives the best advice when I'm heartbroken, and lets me know when the grieving period is over so that I can move on with my life. He speaks only truth to me and ensures that, if I will only listen, I will not be led astray by the fears and misconceptions of my own heart. He hangs out with me when I drive, thrills with me on swings and rollerblades and rollercoasters, hurts with me when I can't even breathe anymore from the pain, and laughs with me when something fantastic takes me by surprise.

He is a promiser of good things. He reminds me of these things when I cannot stand on my own two feet anymore, and He always makes these things come to pass. He provides all of my needs, and even some of my selfish wants. I have a hundred stories of times when He made way for the impossible, and when He has come through even when the rest of the world looked away.

This is my God. This is how He has revealed Himself to me, and yet it's only a taste. The Bible is a beautiful thing that God has given to us so that we may come to know Him better, but He has also given us His Spirit to live INSIDE of us. He's not words on a page to be taken in and understood, but a part of me. And He longs to reveal Himself personally. I guess it's the difference between introducing yourself in letter or in person. Sure I can understand a huge amount about Him by reading a letter that spans thousands of years, but He is here in my lifetime to meet personally with me. What an incredible God.