Showing posts with label excited. Show all posts
Showing posts with label excited. Show all posts

21.11.10

I've Found I'm Scared to Know I'm Always on Your Mind




Snow really does fix everything. On Friday, sitting in Tim Horton's, I was able to see the sky transform from a dusting of white to a full on blizzard. Being out after that (even while I was being face-washed again and again) was the happiest I have been since...well, since Toronto. And we all know h0w fun that was. It has just been so long since I could really feel anything, but when God pours out His storehouses I am so aware of Him. It's like my God-sense tingles out of control and I cannot stand it. When I smell the snow it is so fresh and so crisp, and all I can think is how this is what it must have smelled like when everything came to be.

My life has been changing so rapidly lately in directions I was not expecting. Part of me is scared to death; I know that if things do not continue to go up, I may never again figure out how to get here again, let alone back to the mountain.

Hallelujah that none of this rests on a boy or a friend, on anyone or anything else. My life is getting back on track, and I am exactly one month away from being half way through this leg of the journey. And I am excited for what is coming.

24.3.10

Life Is Life Is Life




Sometimes I don't understand the direction I am heading in. My going away for summer has been met with everything from excitement to disappointment to confusion. I just want people to be happy for me! Happy that for the first time in a long time I feel something. I'm excited and thrilled and scared and freaking out...and completely at peace.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel that my life is heading in a direction instead of just aimlessly wandering through the wilderness without a destination. Right now each week is going by with no defining points; I need to have a purpose beyond myself. Let me be clear: I am not running away. I'm actually running toward the next mile marker in this marathon.
And thankfully I won't be doing it alone. I'm following Him, so I know He will be there the entire time. So even if this is misguided (which I firmly believe it is not), I know He won't leave me hanging.