Home is Where Every Part of Me Is

I'm home. Oh glorious home.

Things are different. Strange, but I didn't realize my hair had grown until I saw it here. Cameron felt different. End of summer smell has settled. My brother even looks taller.

Things are the same. My parents' house smells the same. The grass feels the same underfoot. My cat loves me the same. There's calm and sanity here.

The next two weeks I'll be working like crazy and trying to hang out with as many people as possible, but it doesn't feel hectic; this is my comfort zone. But I'm worried about my state of mind and heart at the end of the two weeks. I think that the non-existence of the church will hit me fresh, and I need to be prepared for my own reaction.

Home has been where my heart has been for the last seven weeks, and I'm finally here in the flesh too. I don't want to get comfortable, th0ugh; I will not be comfortable. I will be dynamic. I will continue to be dynamic for Him.

And When All Else Fades, You Remain

I've reached a point where I cannot do anything aside from God. When I try, I am completely aware of it and immediately convicted. My heart is changing so rapidly that sometimes I have to stop myself and realize just how different I am from only a few weeks ago. My thought processes flow differently, the pattern of my heart beats to a different rhythm, and slowly the sting of hurt is being polysporined out of me. Every moment of the day is ministry or preparation for ministry or God-time or soul-searching time. Every once in awhile we watch a movie or talk about something else, but those are becoming few and far between. And I'm learning self-care.

As we earnestly seek Him, He further reveals Himself and His desires, and is faithful in answering our prayers. I'm still exhausted and need tons of prayer, but God is holding me through.