I am afraid of myself and the things I still carry with me against my will. I am afraid of the insecurities that drive me to commit ridiculous faux pas. I am afraid of my subconscious efforts at sabotage. I am afraid that I am not strong enough to be the woman I want to be. In that case, thank God for...well, God. I, on my own, by my pitiful self, am not big enough or strong enough or self-controlled enough to prevail over my flesh. But Christ in me? He reigns. And when He is not reigning, I know there are things between myself and Him that need to change, not between myself and others.
I have an extremely good thing going here, and I just cried myself silly thinking I am going to wreck it out of my own stupidity. But! If I surrender every thought and every action and every desire to the One to whom I attempt to give control, then there is no failure; failure for my hoped outcome perhaps, but not failure in His eyes. Thank goodness for the but.
The more I focus on Him, the easier this will be. Come on, Leanne. Grow up, delve in, be the woman of God He has called you to be. No excuses, no regrets.
There is nothing scarier than the empty hanging of a heart on the line.
No comments:
Post a Comment