I am not always the best at making the right decision when it needs to be made. In hindsight, I have epic confidence in knowing what should have happened; in forethought, there are no doubts in my mind; in the moment, I am hopeless.
Tonight I had several options. I could have lied or said what would have given me what I actually wanted or said a lot of things that would not have changed anything or ignored what I know to be right...or I had the option to be honest, open, respectful and act in integrity. I chose the latter.
Now I do not know where to go from here. I could not have picked a better outcome, but for whom? Ultimately, yes, this is best. I will not look back and regret being all those good things listed above.
But.
Do you know those moments in movies that are flashed back to again and again and again because they were the turning point? It was in that crucial decision that the rest of the plot hinged. I am by no means trying to place tonight in that kind of light; it just feels like a shadow of that.
What if? can be extremely hard to swallow.
God. I am really glad in this moment that You know what You are doing, because I am beyond myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment