Fall Away from Your Past, But It's Following You

If I knew the formula, I would figure out everything that's wrong with my life and be perfect. I haven't.

But I'm doing my damnedest. I am fighting with all that I have, and that has to be enough. It's got to be, or what else is there?

umbrella for rain

so it cannot touch my head

the street is quiet

darkness into light

falling behind emotion

into what could be

haikus eat long grass

or whatever they can find

to munch between teeth

Two Days, Two Nights

...and the accommodations in no way look like what is pictured above. Two days and I am home. I probably do not need to go into what being home means, as I have already done so continuously over the last few weeks.

sitting in a hall

separated by distance

too great to traverse

Haikus say it all.

Tied Together with a Smile but She's Coming Undone

I have a giant paper to write, plenty of time for once, and I cannot make myself do it.

Diet Pepsi...lime

wings over snow in darkness

really bad haiku

So apparently writing itself is not the issue. I can put dirt on a page without a problem. What is it then? The lack of something substantial to say?

Ahem. Why?

That was substantial. Possible the most substantial thing ever said. Also not the issue. Maybe my heart is just heavier than my hands.

hands

...

heart

That sounds about right.

Baby, Why Don't You Stay?

Side mirrors only make you aware of how close things are that you don't want to hit.

I'm tired of looking back.

Is there anything to look forward to?

This song has been stuck in my head.

Which chorus do I mean?

Couldn't tell you.

All I know is that I don't know anything yet.

I'll be twenty-two in twenty-four days.

And I still know nothing.

Nothing.

My heart's on my sleeve.

Again.

Ugh.

I never care for the right person at the right time.

If there's any such thing.

don't know what to say

i've given the best of me

so why don't you stay

Haiku from Damp Grass

arms to knees to chest
sitting still on the damp grass
still seems so surreal

quietly at first
the whispered words come shyly
i have lost myself

death relived again
for the dam of tears to spill
i can't control this

shaking in the cool
dusk steals in to hide you
i am so sorry

it has been two years
since my last visit to you
still in denial

as hard as ever
you live a block away now
i'm lost without you

Making Love Out of Nothing At All

Sometimes I just don't want to blog. Today, for example. I have nothing to write about. There is not a single original thought in my head. I don't pretend to be a revolutionary, but I love sharing something that is really on my heart; I live to share the words that refuse to come out in speech but flow effortlessly through my fingertips.

I'm nostalgic to the max right now. I'm thinking back to months ago when it felt like everything that came out in print was the perfect expression of a moment or a feeling, or an overflow of certainty that nothing could be more right in that second. And here I sit. Nothing. Not a thought on what I could possibly fill this empty space with.

So in my search to discover the perfect words to say, I came across some of my own from September. Gosh I love haikus.


Purple-blanketed
Sunshine singing to my back
Smells of grass and me


I don't know why these seventeen syllables bring me so much joy, but as I read them...I can almost feel the moment again. Maybe that's why I write.

How do you photograph heroism, paint a broken dream, or dictate true love? It haunts me that we have all these emotions and words and senses that are so difficult to capture. So here's my mission: do everything in my power to put these things into words. Faulty, failing, inadequate words, but something tangible nonetheless.

I set out to write about nothing, and I ended up writing about everything all at once. Maybe you can't see it, and maybe this doesn't mean a thing to you, but my heart is beating faster just thinking about the last few paragraphs.