My Heart has never Felt This Way before; I'm Looking through Your Eyes

Sometimes I get this ticklish inkling. Content goes out the window and Wild, Desirous and Dangerous open a new door of endless possibilities. My heart is leaping out of my chest because it knows, intrinsically, that I am meant for so much more than the here and now.

I think about tomorrow and find myself wondering why I will still be here, still going through the same mundane routine, still doing less than I am capable of accomplishing. I want to drive to Whistler tonight so I am there as soon as they open bungee jumping for the day, or go blow all my money on a one-way ticket to Ireland or Israel or Cuba, or get in my car and drive and drive and drive until I don't remember where I came from (or until I hit 48 states, whichever comes first), or go find the nearest cliff and jump off it (for recreational purposes of course), or run away to live in the woods like a wild child for a month, or drive around the city trying every ethnic food place I see, or try out for American Idol just so I can be on TV for their worst ever's, or go dancing just for the sake of letting loose and moving the way I always want to (especially when I am sitting through a seven hour class), or ask the first decent man I see to marry me and run away together to Spain and never come back, or just have a baby because I can (hello, I'm female) and am tired of waiting, or spend a ridiculous amount of money on paints and canvas and just go crazy because I love painting and never let myself, or run away to Los Angeles to work as a waitress while I wait for my chance that will make me famous and do strange sitcoms that never make it past the pilot until I meet James McAvoy on the street and he falls in love with me and gets me my big break, or swim in the ocean right now in the dead of night in October, or travel to some far off destination that will give me all the quiet I need to finally read all those books I have always wanted to and to finally devote myself to writing the way I have always dreamed of, or become a cologne consultant at The Bay.

I feel as if I am just floating, constantly pushing down the things I really want in favor of the "shoulds." Some of them are there for a purpose, namely safety or sanity, but so what? I want to live, love to the fullest, breathe each breath like it's my last, and dare to love every moment without the fear of this being the best it will ever get. I never want to ask myself if this is as good as it gets. I will do more with my life.

I want to be more than just some girl who you knew way back when and don't really know what happened to her after that. I want to be dynamic, a force of nature that takes the world by storm because I am driven be the love of the One whose passion has become mine. I cannot settle for anything less.