18.10.10

I Confess You Are the Best Thing in My Life




I was asked today if I have my eye on anyone. My response? "No, I'm waiting for someone to have his eye on me."

I've committed to not dating until at least the end of April, and even then it will be iffy. I tend to let my heart be won over too easily, even if I know in my head that he's no good for me, so this is a necessary break to reassess and let my life settle. I am in the process of uprooting everything in my life that I have ever repressed or suppressed, and I need to get that crud in order before I let a man get close enough to even consider. Right now is tricky because it would be so easy to get caught up in old patterns. I'm being careful though, and sticking with my personal guidelines. I need to respect myself enough to ask respect from the opposite sex.

So as much as I might be enthralled with the idea of wrestling through life with someone, I am comfortable exactly where I am. I am beyond happy to be sitting here by myself knowing that the only guys in my life are God and my dad, and not needing another's approval or affirmation to feel good about myself. I am going to be okay. And when I get to a place in my life where I am healed enough to let someone into the new framework, then I will enjoy that brilliant place in my life as well. That man...well, he's going to be something else. I just know it.

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