Rest

I'm not scared anymore because I have a plan. I wish I didn't have to be so cryptic, but there's no other way. I am placing the entirety of my self into this, because I am not settling for failure. It would take a literal act of God to take me off this current path that I am pursuing; I am settling into this new-found peace and just running with it.

Things need to change. This is action number one. They are not big, they are not catastrophic, they are not of epic proportions. But they are essential. And I know that if these things don't change, we'll be ruined. We can ignore them and pretend that it's not a big deal, but I think we both know deep down: this is the hugest deal.

Secondly, I am striving to give. Where before I have held back out of doubt and fear and irrational stupidity, I am letting go. My first priority will be to always, always be giving before I even consider receiving. Someone said it really well to me the other day. I was talking about relationships being 50/50, and he said that is a load of crap. If they're not 100/100, it will never work. So I'm putting in my 100. I'm raising the bar.

Plan of action numero three is also an act of letting go, but of preconceived ideas and notions that are only out to poison the great things I do have. Expectations? Trying to throw them out the window.

I want to be free to be fearless for you, to rest in the simple knowledge that you love me and that is enough. I promise to work on these every day.