Flat

Today is a new day. Yesterday is (finally) gone, and I'm in the next yesterday. When I think about it like that, trials don't feel quite so life or death.

I can't say that I feel better than yesterday, but I have the teensiest pinprick of hope. Silly and misguided? Probably. But if I don't have something to hold onto now, I'm going to whither and fall apart.

Last night, Emily and I dressed up absolutely ridiculous. I'm sure I could list all the items of clothes adorning my body, but it would take me at least half an hour. I can't really explain it, but it was almost as if a part of my brain cracked and nothing seemed real anymore. I guess that's what happens when the one whose opinion counts doesn't care to care anymore. So we packed into Katie's car and went to Safeway. The looks didn't matter; what mattered was the freedom to just...be.

And it feels like today.