You're a Wrecking Ball in a Summer Dress

Just taking a break from disastrous sermon prep to share about my first Sabbath in a long long time!

What I did today: I slept in a bit to prolong a really good dream I can no longer remember; ate egg rolls for breakfast and caught up on some Rookie Blue; ate candy and relaxed in front of some mindless TV; hung out with a beautiful girl I haven't seen in forever and ate sinfully delicious and expensive sorbet; walked around the lake at a park; had a brief skype chat with ma man. And worked on my sermon.

I'm preaching tomorrow morning for the second time this summer, and I'm nervous to say the least. Last time (apparently) went well, but this one...oh man. I am going to be a sweating MACHINE tomorrow. Ew. I've been preparing for hours and hours and hours before today, but I still feel like I need so much more. No more, Leanne! I'm cutting you off!

I feel lighter. Happier. Saner. This is gooooooood!

Put It to You

I am back in Toronto. It is only for the weekend, but that does not make it easier to bear. Just recounting some of the events of last summer in the van on the way into the city was enough to get me nauseous and sweating profusely. I also had a not-so-pretty breakdown in the bathroom, realizing how much crap had actually gone down there. And that is not even the beginning. This place is an emotional war zone that supersedes time and space; it is as though I never left. I am here with new people under a different kind of protection, yet I still feel as naked as the first day I was belittled here. On the other hand, it also reminds me of a surprising strength that surpassed all circumstances that I toted around like a battle shield; let's face it, that was Christ in me and nothing to do with me at all. If I do not hold onto Him now, I will not make it.