Drowning in Mascara and Lip Gloss

I think there is something critical missing from my make-up.

Bronzer, duh. Have you seen my complexion?

Jokes.

I think there is something critical missing from my chemical make-up.

Most people, from what I've heard, are born with this natural sense of self-preservation. The fight or flight option only exists to help us survive. We are trained to respond to the needs of our bodies as they come: hunger, thirst, low or high temperature, bathroom breaks in the middle of something really important. We are hard-wired to protect our lives at all costs, except in some very special cases.

I do not have this survival instinct.

My Body: "I'm tired."

Leanne: "Yo Body, let's stay up as long as we can tonight!"

My Stomach: "I'm hungry."

Leanne: "I'm not very hungry."

My Stomach: "I'm really getting hungry."

Leanne: "I've only had a croissant and a cup of coffee all day!"

My Stomach: "FEED ME!"

Leanne: "Weird, I wonder why I don't feel good."

My Adrenaline: "That man looks sketchy."

Leanne: "Hey! Let's go ask that man for directions!"

My Adrenaline: "Jumping off this is probably a bad idea..."

Leanne: "Hey, I've got an idea! Let's jump off this sixty foot cliff!"

It's almost like I have some kind of aversion to doing the simple stuff. Or the sane stuff. Or just stuff at all.

Tomorrow I promise to do better. And wear make-up.

Disclaimer: No hyperbolizing was used in the writing of this blog. And no animals were harmed either, except possibly Scooter because I don't think Melissa feeds him and I can't remind her when I barely remind myself.