Drifting

That horrible letdown of defenses after a ridiculously long period of stress that leads to sickness.

I hate it. Being surrounded by the pressure of stress so tightly that, when it finally stops constricting, it still leaves me without breath.

I just watched a show where a boa constrictor was squeezing a guy to death, but they couldn't remove the snake because it had crushed his bones and if they did he would bleed out. The same thing that was killing him was also keeping him alive.

Ironic. One of the main stresses being removed meant letting go of the strict schedule that had kept me breathing. Now I have to reconstruct from the ground up all over again. I need to remind myself why I wake up in the morning instead of robotically going through the motions just to make it through the day.

There must be purpose beyond this.

Romeo, Romeo, Where Art Thou Hast Been For So Long, O Romeo?

Today was a horrible day.

Things just did not start out right. My phone died so my alarm did not go off. Normally this wouldn't be a problem because my internal clock would have woken me up, but only three hours of sleep tends to get in the way of that kind of thing. By the time I woke up my second class was already going and I looked and felt like the dirtiest sludge of all time. I proceeded to get ready in a hurry so I could do all I was supposed to do and be everywhere I was supposed to be...only to be horribly disappointed when I failed to accomplish any of this. I got nothing done and was left with feelings closely mirrored in movies such as American History X and the Exorcist. Needless to say, not my day.

BUT, oh glorious surprise, we had Broccoli Chicken Cheese Bake for dinner!! With delicious apple pie. And then I had an awesome meeting and got to watch some awesome Office with carrot sticks and popcorn. Upon returning to school, I found my early Christmas gift: EMILY! She has made everything brighter. The chilly autumn evening has been magically transformed to bright, sunlit, aframe afternoons and mystical days of shower hugs. Oh my love, why have you been away so long?

Today was a wonderful day.